Becoming Superman.
You'll believe a man can fly!
Growing up, I always felt like an alien. Alone, different, like I didn’t belong. No matter how much I tried, the world around me didn’t feel like my own. So, like Superman, I did what I thought I had to do - I put on a mask.
Clark Kent had his glasses; I had my own proverbial disguise - the wall I put up around myself. I pretended to be someone else, someone more “normal,” someone who fit in. It was easier to blend into the crowd, to be the mild-mannered, clumsy, goofy version of myself that wouldn’t draw too much attention.
The person who used (and often continues to use!) humour and jokes to deflect from real emotion and feelings.
But deep down, I knew there was something more inside of me. Something hidden. Something stronger.
Superman has always been more than just a hero to me. His story resonated with my own life in ways I didn’t fully understand until much later. Like Superman, who lost not only his birth parents, but his adoptive parents too - I lost my parents at a point in my life when I probably needed them most.
That loss shaped Superman, just as losing my parents shaped me.
At my father’s funeral, I wasn’t entirely myself. I often tell the story of how it was as though I was Clark Kent, looking down at myself from above, watching as this mild-mannered man said goodbye to his own Jonathan Kent. It was one of the most painful moments of my life, but imagining it through Superman’s lens gave me the strength to endure.
In my darkest hours, I found solace in the parallels between my story and his. It was Superman’s example that helped me face the unthinkable and survive.
"You will travel far my little Kal-El. But we will never leave you. Even in the face of our deaths. You will make my strength your own. You will see my life through your eyes as your life will be seen through mine."
-Jor-El
And just as Jor-El continued to guide Superman through the wisdom and advice he left behind in the ice crystals in his Fortress, so too have my parents guided me.
Though they’re no longer here, their lessons, their values, and the lives they lived are embedded in who I am. They taught me resilience, compassion, and the importance of standing tall in the face of adversity. It is because of them that I found the strength to don the proverbial cape and soar to new heights in my own life.
People often ask me why I love Superman so much, why I’m so captivated by comic book heroes. It’s not about the cape or the powers - it’s the humanity beneath the invincibility. The secret identity, the duality of being both extraordinary and ordinary, was something I could understand.
Superman hid behind Clark Kent’s glasses, just as I hid behind my own mask. But over time, I’ve learned to embrace my strengths and accept the vulnerabilities that make me human.
Like Superman, I’ve also built my own Fortress of Solitude - not in the icy Arctic, but in the relationships I’ve cultivated over the years. My fortress is made up of friends and loved ones, the people who support me, love me, and help me through life’s challenges. I recently heard someone say that when people say, “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey,” they’re missing the point. It’s neither. It’s the companions who travel that road with you.
That struck a chord with me because the people in my life have truly made all the difference.
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me
I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train
And it's not easy to be me
I wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
'Bout a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd, but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed, but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream?
And it's not easy to be me
Superman has fought countless enemies over the years, from Lex Luthor to Brainiac to Doomsday. But what always stood out to me in the comics wasn’t the villains; it was the relationships. The Justice League, his colleagues at the Daily Planet, his friends, and his love for Lois Lane - they grounded him and gave him a reason to keep fighting.
That’s what life is really about: the connections we make, the people who walk the journey with us.
As I grew older, I started to see how Superman’s powers were also a metaphor for how I could and would live my life. His X-ray vision? My ability to see through people’s facades, to judge their characters and sift through the bullshit and understand who they really were.
His ice breath? My ability to remain cool and calm under pressure, even when chaos threatens to consume everything around me. I often get flak for my stoic mindset and my level emotional personality, but Superman (and Marcus Aurelius) taught me that true power comes from emotional regulation. If we don’t have the power to regulate our feelings around a situation or event, then that event has power over us, not us over it.
If we react so strongly to a situation, and lose control, we have to ask ourselves what caused it? What triggered it? I believe when we lash out, when we lose composure in a situation, its because we are wounded. We are holding onto scar tissue from our past that causes us to lose control and revert to the wounded person we were.
While Superman often felt pain and was hurt, he never allowed himself to react to it and become overwhelmed by it. He remained cool under pressure!
Heat vision? My ability to focus my attention and strength in one direction, to channel my energy toward blasting away the obstacles in my path.
Superman’s super strength and ability to fly are some of his most iconic powers, but to me they’re more than just physical feats - they are symbols of resilience and transcendence. His strength represents the mental fortitude needed to face and overcome adversity. It’s the inner power to carry the weight of life’s challenges, no matter how crushing they may seem.
His ability to fly is the ultimate metaphor for rising above - soaring past obstacles, doubts, and fears to emerge victorious. In life, having the mental strength to endure hardship is only part of the equation; the ability to “fly” comes from hope, determination, and the courage to believe in a brighter future.
Together, these powers remind us that we can not only withstand the pressures of life, but also rise above them to reach heights we once thought impossible!
And yet, even Superman has his kryptonite - the one thing that renders him vulnerable. We all have it. For some, it’s self-doubt. For others, it’s trauma, fear, or insecurities that creep in when we least expect them. For me, kryptonite has taken many forms over the years: loss, regret, self-sabotage and moments where I doubted my own worth. But just as Superman continues to rise, I’ve learned to face my own weaknesses and find the strength to overcome them.
Superman’s symbol isn’t just an “S.” It stands for hope. Hope that no matter where we come from, what we’ve endured, or how many battles we’ve fought, we have the power to rise above.
Hope that we can forgive ourselves, let go of the past, and embrace the future. Hope that we can start over, find love (again), build connections, and make life worth living.
I recently had the chance to watch Super/Man - the Christopher Reeves story. Seeing how someone as broken as he was - the man who personified Superman for so many years, was able to overcome his injuries and not only live a meaningful life, but also proverbially stand up and become the spokesman for spinal injuries - was inspiring!
So here’s my message to you: We all have the power to charge into the metaphorical telephone booth and become the person we were meant to be.
We all have the strength to fight our kryptonite, to cherish our loved ones, and to make the journey worthwhile.
We all have the power to drop the mask of Clark Kent and step into the world as the Superman we were meant to be. The strength, resilience, and courage we need are already within us, waiting for the moment we choose to embrace them.
It’s not about being perfect or invincible - it’s about being authentic, living boldly, and rising above the fear and doubts that hold us back. We can face life’s challenges with grace, fight for what matters, and lift those around us while staying true to ourselves.
The world doesn’t need another mild-mannered disguise; it needs the real, unapologetic you. So step into your cape, embrace your power, and soar.
Life is fleeting, and time is precious. Let’s live it fully, love deeply, and never forget that the connections we make along the way are what truly matter!
Life is full of second chances. So take yours - and start to believe that a man can fly!
Up, up, and away!
SK. 🩶
This resonates with me so much - thanks Stan.